I like her, I like her very much, I've actually talked about her before, but I only MENTIONED her in one post, and in another one I talked about how I was jealous of the relatioship she had whith her boyfriend.. but I just realized, I never dedicated a post to HER (I'm sorry, I'm gonna keep on calling her "her" since no other name fits her right, but her own, which I can't use here), and I've been wanting to for a while now...
I actually met her in one of the last places I ever expected to meet somone, when I went to this place I was just expecting to spend sometime there whith my friends and have some fun, and that would be it... well I was wrong, after that, a few things happened, for example IT became a new "tradition", I made a whole new group of friends, and I also met her... Now, I'm not gonna go as far as saying that she changed my life, because according to how things are going, I'm gonna have to get over her eventually, whithout nothing ever happening between us (she has a boyfriend after all), so all that I'm feeling right now, will stop and things will go back to how they were before I met her..
The truth, is that at first, I just got to see her, and that was enough to call my atention... After that thanks to our higly evolved social networks, I got to "meet", all I actually got to do was read her profile, which was enough to start geting me hung up on her.. She was a lot "like me", or at least that's what I thought at the moment*, the truth is that we do have things in common, and some of them are things I had in common whith ther I didn't have in common whith anyone else (well, maybe my brother), which made it all the more special.. Now I know new friend whith whom I share those interests (my so called X-Men)..
*I now realize that maybe I let myself idealize her a bit too much, the truth is that I only saw her three times, and I only got to speak to her 2 of those times.. Granted, I do get to read about her in her.. well, let's call it a "blog" (I don't know how else to name it), and maybe there I got to see deeper than what you can see when you talk to somone in person.. But the truth, is that I hardly got to know her in person.. And it's easy to idealize somone in that position.. I'm not saying that she's not very nice, and that we don't have things in common, all I'm saying is that it's probable that we're not anyway near as similar as I thought at first (for example: all those things we have in common, she has them "more" than I do, and at first I thought that was even better, now I realize I was just fooling myself)..
Maybe it happened, cause in a way I'm lonely, and my "love life" is the only thing I feel is a total failure right now.. I love my family (well, most of it), I have great friends, and this year I've made new and completely different friends outside my school (for the first time ever), and I'm done whith school, and I know exaclty "where" I'm headed next year.. But in my eighteen years of life, I have never had a girlfriend, and I've always been the girlfriend kind of guy.. So I guess I'm kind of a failure in that way.. And then she came in and it was so easy, (as I said I don't meet much people outside of school, so I don't meet a lot of women.. and even though there are some of my friends whith whom I think we would be good, I'm not about to risk any friendships unless it's somone I really want to be whith), but it really wasn't.. since she wasn't "achivable"...
And I know, that you maybe thinking "well, If you realized that you idealized her, whats the big deal?", well the truth is that I realized too late, now I'm way too hung up on her, and I don't really want to let go of her, and of this image I have of her, (and even whithout idealizing her, she still would be more than good for me).. I guess that all I can do now, is wait till yime does its work, and I'm over her, cause I don't want to stop seeing her, cause even if I can't be whith her that way, I know that she could be a great friend for me (specially once I'm over her)
I actually met her in one of the last places I ever expected to meet somone, when I went to this place I was just expecting to spend sometime there whith my friends and have some fun, and that would be it... well I was wrong, after that, a few things happened, for example IT became a new "tradition", I made a whole new group of friends, and I also met her... Now, I'm not gonna go as far as saying that she changed my life, because according to how things are going, I'm gonna have to get over her eventually, whithout nothing ever happening between us (she has a boyfriend after all), so all that I'm feeling right now, will stop and things will go back to how they were before I met her..
The truth, is that at first, I just got to see her, and that was enough to call my atention... After that thanks to our higly evolved social networks, I got to "meet", all I actually got to do was read her profile, which was enough to start geting me hung up on her.. She was a lot "like me", or at least that's what I thought at the moment*, the truth is that we do have things in common, and some of them are things I had in common whith ther I didn't have in common whith anyone else (well, maybe my brother), which made it all the more special.. Now I know new friend whith whom I share those interests (my so called X-Men)..
*I now realize that maybe I let myself idealize her a bit too much, the truth is that I only saw her three times, and I only got to speak to her 2 of those times.. Granted, I do get to read about her in her.. well, let's call it a "blog" (I don't know how else to name it), and maybe there I got to see deeper than what you can see when you talk to somone in person.. But the truth, is that I hardly got to know her in person.. And it's easy to idealize somone in that position.. I'm not saying that she's not very nice, and that we don't have things in common, all I'm saying is that it's probable that we're not anyway near as similar as I thought at first (for example: all those things we have in common, she has them "more" than I do, and at first I thought that was even better, now I realize I was just fooling myself)..
Maybe it happened, cause in a way I'm lonely, and my "love life" is the only thing I feel is a total failure right now.. I love my family (well, most of it), I have great friends, and this year I've made new and completely different friends outside my school (for the first time ever), and I'm done whith school, and I know exaclty "where" I'm headed next year.. But in my eighteen years of life, I have never had a girlfriend, and I've always been the girlfriend kind of guy.. So I guess I'm kind of a failure in that way.. And then she came in and it was so easy, (as I said I don't meet much people outside of school, so I don't meet a lot of women.. and even though there are some of my friends whith whom I think we would be good, I'm not about to risk any friendships unless it's somone I really want to be whith), but it really wasn't.. since she wasn't "achivable"...
And I know, that you maybe thinking "well, If you realized that you idealized her, whats the big deal?", well the truth is that I realized too late, now I'm way too hung up on her, and I don't really want to let go of her, and of this image I have of her, (and even whithout idealizing her, she still would be more than good for me).. I guess that all I can do now, is wait till yime does its work, and I'm over her, cause I don't want to stop seeing her, cause even if I can't be whith her that way, I know that she could be a great friend for me (specially once I'm over her)
Uhh...bajón...
ReplyDeleteYa vas a conocer a alguien en facu...don't worry...
0=3
Cero estrés (Y)
si, ya se, es lo que he estado pensando ultimamente..se que ahora voy a tener una chance nueva, el problema es que si no se me presenta nada en la facultad, no se que otra chance podre tener, pero me imagino que se va a presentar algo
ReplyDeleteAlguna vez estuve en una situación bastante similar, solo que era un chico que yo amaba platónicamente, y que estaba de novio con una de mis mejores amigas (totally awkward...), pero eso nunca me hizo dejar de quererlo, tanto así que cuando cortó con su novia yo lo seguía amando. Llegué a confesarme y fuí aceptada-rechazada (ni yo lo entendí bien); y la verdad no me arrepiento de haber ido de frente y nunca haberme rendido con esa persona, fue muy lindo mientras duró. Talvez es algo pasajero, pero yo que vos intentaría al menos poder acercarme a la persona, nunca se sabe :)
ReplyDeletesi, pero vos te le confesaste despues de que dejaron, y ellos siguen juntos.. igual yo la tengo un poco mas facil teniendo en cuenta que al novio ni lo conozco personalmente (como se lo tomo tu amiga??)..
ReplyDeleteo sea, lleva con su novio como 2 años creo, creo que no hay muchos desenlaces posibles si me le confieso..
Tanteá el panorama y jugátela...
ReplyDelete(voy a parecer un re visiado xq estoy respondiendo todo al toque)
ReplyDeleteok, la cosa es muy facil, ponganse en su lugar.. ustedes dejarian a un novio/a, de como 2 años, por alguien que vieron 3 veces (de las cuales solo le hablaron 2)?
granted,ella ha leido mi blog varias veces y yo su "blog", pero no aporta mucho..
ja deberías preguntarte como me lo tome yo, ella sabia que a mi me encantaba este chico, pero ta, ya fue hace tanto tiempo, y paso tanta agua bajo el río que no estoy ni enojada ni llorando por nadie. Sigo en mi posición, que al menos deberías decirle que para vos es una persona muy especial, para hacer las paces con vos mismo, y que ella sepa que la queres, tampoco hay necesidad de decirle "te amo" a menos que lo sientas, take it easy, como dice mi madre, nadie te va pegar...
ReplyDeleteSi ella sabe de la existencia de este blog, y lee esto....como que ya esta todo al aire no?
ReplyDeleteconcuerdo con Wicked, del resto no comento, no me gusta hablar sobre las cosas de la gente que no conozco, pero es basicamente por no meter pata por no conocer situaciones ya la persona en si (aunque si lo lee alguien en el blog y tiene los comentarios activados es porque puede opinar, ¿no? xD)
ReplyDeleteIgualmente no es mi estilo. Diré algo mas o menos relevante cuando te mandes algun pire filosófico o ventiles una rabia asesina.
Mi objetivo principal era como mínimo devolverte el posteo porque vi que te tomaste la molestia de pasar por mi blog (mas de una vez! yeah! :D) y ta, me pegué unas vueltas por acá y leí sobre tu vida.
Te queda una vida entera por delante, y gente por conocer, muchísima, de los buenos y de los malos. No te preocupes por eso.
wicked, la verdad no creo,trate de evitar nada muy especifico.. no se , vos crees que haya dicho algo que queme mucho? igual, si se entera se entera, no es nada que me mate..
ReplyDeletea*: siento que lo unico que puedo ganar con eso, es hacer las cosas incomodas entre los dos y perderla como amiga, que como ya dije, igual apreciaria mucho tenerla como amiga
antares:gracias por pasar, y si , claro estas mas que invitado a comentar cuando quieras de lo que quieras