Okey, 4 days ago I wrote a post talking about how I had just finished my very last year of high school, and (among other stuff) I talked about how I was going to have to leave the place that I had been in for almost all my life, and how I now I would have to face something new whith comepletly new people..
While I was answering the comments I got the answer started to get pretty long (and maybe a little bit off topic) and I decided to make a post about it..
Well, as I said before last friday was my last day of school, and as I said it had been the only place I have ever gone to (studywise) and most of the people I know I met them there (in fact until this year I had almost no friend that was from outside my school).. So as you can realize I haven't really "practiced" meeting new people, ever.. Almost everybody I ever metI met them either befor turning 10 or if I met them after that they were the "new ones" so I was still in a comfortable place while I got to meet them... Add to that the fact that I'm very shy, and you'll realize that I'm socially akward (specially when it comes to new people)
I can only remember 3 recent situations in which I was introduced to a whole group of new people.. the 1st was when my X-men cosplay team met whith another x-men cosplay team, and I did fine, but then I knew half the people in the group so conversation came easier. The 2nd was when I went on the "Dream Trip to U.S.A" and again I did fine (maybe because we were all strangers to each other so we were on the same position), but the first time I was completely alone whith the guys and they started whith all the stupid "macho" talk things got very uncomfortable and when they realized how quiet I was they turned their atention to me, trying to get me to participate more actively in their "conversation" and once I didn't (I just don't feel comfortable whith it) I immediatly became an outsider, of course this didn't interfeer whith me getting along perfectly whith the girls.. Then there's the third and least important time, which was when I got to meet the friends of one of the girls that went on the trip whith me, and it was a bit akward (specially being the center of atenction since I was the "new one" there) but I did manage to talk to them (I didn't talk a lot, but I did talk) but then again I had 3 of the people who went on the trip there whith me to make the situation a bit more comfortable..
So I can manage to socialize with new people when I'm whith people I know, and SOMETIMES when we are all strangers to each other.. But what guarantees that this whil be one of those times, cause sure, we are all (or most of us) gona be strangers to each other, but as I said, SOMETIMES I can talk and get a bit out of my shyness, and even those times, it's hard for me to socialize whith the typical guy (I know I'm a guy, but girls are easier friends to me, well girls and some guys, what people call "weirdos", for example I had no problem whith the X-men guys).. Sure, I have no problem whith just geting along whith the girls, but I don't really want to spend my whole college life being friends only whith the girls.. And yes, my brother and his friends (whith whom I get along great, -they're part of the X-men group-) go to the same university I'm going to, so I do have a back-up plan in case things don't go as planed, but just as I don't want to only socialize with the girls, I don't want to depend on my brother and his friends.
Don't get me wrong, I know I'll probably have little problem socializing whith my future classmates, and I'll probably meet at least one "weird" guy whith whom I wont have to worrry about "macho"-talk but I can't help having those thoughts, because being shy as I am there's a big chance that I have trouble socializing... (don't go thinking that this is the only thing in my mind and that I can't stop thinking about it, in fact it's not something I give THAT much though to.. it's just a worry I have, it's not too important..)
As alway.. Merci!
omg. you should TOTALLY talk to Wicked about this. he used to be very much like you, en eso de llevarse mas con las chicas que con los typical guys, maybe he can give you some advice.
ReplyDeleteVas a ir a una publica o privada, if i may ask?
A mi me pasa lo contrario por lo general, no soy una persona que tenga muchas "amigas", de seguro tengo 5 o 6 de las cuales tengo contacto más seguido que con el resto, por lo demás siempre me llevé bastante bien con los hombres, pero por razones obvias nunca entro en las conversaciones de "macho men" XD
ReplyDeleteA la hora de entrar en mi facultad, este año pensé en aprovechar la oportunidad de no conocer a nadie allí y poder acercarme a más gente (como empezar de cero un grupo de compañeros de clase, y si podía, un grupo de amigos), pero yo misma hundí mi propio barco a la hora de sentarme a hablar con al gente. No es que no tuviéramos oportunidad para hablar, conocernos y hacer trabajos grupales (y me considero una persona bastante simpática con todo), simplemente yo soy tan tímida con la gente que jamás doy el primer paso :(
Si bien ahora ya la mitad de la gente ahí adentro ha formado grupos de amigos yo sigo sola como un poroto. Podría decir que aprendí a no ser tan tímida, pero aveces me supera, y tengo como meta a futuro poder cambiar un poco ese mal hábito, y creo que deberías hacer también lo mismo, sinó quien sabe cuanto tiempo aguantaremos estando solos
Perdón por el sermón, pero a mí esto siempre me trajo problemas, con mis amigos, y con mi familia, por eso más que nada te recomiendo que aproveches ahora de conocer gente nueva, además personas buenas siempre hay en todos lados, (sino mira el grupo que nos formamos vía blogspot :P )
*insert hug here*
si, me lo re imagino a wicked siendo asi.. supongo que el vendra x su cuenta a dar consejos ;P
ReplyDeletea*: la verdad es obvio que no vas a entrar en esas conversaciones, pero tambien yo supongo que la clase de hombres con los que te llevas vos son la clase en la que, (si existe) la charla de "macho men" debe ser mas leve, probablemente debe ser la clase de hombres con los que no tengo problema (no se, es lo que asumo a partir de la imagen que tengo de vos)
la verdad me siento EXACTAMENTE IGUAL que vos con la timidez, es tal cual lo dijiste, nunca doy el primer paso, y si bien un poco he superado la timidez, tengo momentos y momentos. (si sos una persona simpatiquisima (: ) y la verdad agarre esa idea de soledad adentro de tu facultad despues de ese post que hiciste ("A day in bellas artes")
y si, yo no me quiero quedar solo por suerte como ya dije estan mi hno y sus amigos de respaldo, pero me gustaria poder hacer amigos mas alla de ellos (sin mencionar, que ellos solo van a estar los primeros 2 años, e inclusive los años que esten solo vamos a coincidir algunas horas)
a mi con mi familia me genera casi ningun problema y con la mayoria de mis actuales amigos me genra muy pocos problemas (y con otros amigos me genera 0,00000001 problema) el problema es a la hora de conocer gente nueva
Mirá, a mi no es exactamente lo que me pasa. Yo me considero una persona muy sociable y simpática, pero con quién quiero.
ReplyDeleteLos hombres "machos" que juegan al fútbol y escupen por la calle (alrededor del 90% del total) no me caen muy bien, y nunca hice contacto social con ellos, pero no por timidez (porque si hay algo que no soy es tímido), sino porque simplemente no me va su actitud, y es por ello que creciendo siempre me llevé mejor con las mujeres, igual manteniendo un grupo de amigos reducidos. Pero si me encuentro con un hombre del 10%, está todo más que bien.
Yo ya pasé por 3 facultades, y tengo amigos en las 3, que aún hoy sigo viendo. No basta más que ser simpático y listo.
si te entiendo, (ahora es un poco prejuicioso meter a algunos hombres en esa categoria por jugar futbol, no te parece?)
ReplyDeletey no estoy de acuerdo wicked, ser simpatico no es lo unico que se necesita.. vos lo dijiste, vos no sos timido, asi que por ahi no te diste cuenta, pero necesitas mas que ser simpatico
*Con el tiempo dejé de meter al que le gusta el fútbol en la misma bolsa.
ReplyDelete