Straigth from the heart -bryan adams-

Bonjour mes amis!!!

Lately I've beeen feeling kind of unsensitive. The truth is I always considered myself a very sensitive guy, I still believe that I'm so, but it bothers me that I feel incapable of taking that to the outside. It has also been bodering me the fact that I feel extremely akward showing my feelings to most people, even if it is something Ilike doing and I wish Icould do it as much as I would like, and without feeling uncomfortable.

You may be wondering where the hell all this comes from. The fact is that our school psicologyst organized a "sleep over" for our generation, the idea was to get to know who we really are, to be able to answer that question without just saying our names (I believe I've always been able to, but I wanted to know how my friends saw themselves and how they saw me, so I signed up anyway). So, in a part of the whole defining ourself prosess we had to tell our friends how WE saw THEM, and it was great because I did get to tell all my friends what I thougth of them. But somewhere along the way people started crying while they talked to their friends or heard what their friends told them.At one point everyone was crying except for me and 3 girls who r as deep as a puddle so it was no comfort at all of the fact that I felt extremely unsensitive ( I mean I know u don't need to cry to feel something but I actually felt that everyone was way more moved than me) I mean I did get a little bit close to crying once, after saying something very emotive to Maca, that shoul've actually made me cry very very very much .. And even if I got to tell one of my friends (Lupi) how much he means to me (which is a huge step for me because I only tell that to my 2 best friends on their birthday letter) and we even hugged, whenever I relive that moment I find kind of a little bit of shame but towards me, and I know that there's nothing shamefull about what I did, but I can't help feeling this way (don't get me wrong I do not regret it at all). Of course I really liked that "sleep over" it was a good expereience and it was very healthy, and I like even those moments that made me feel akward,(I even got to tell everyone what my wishes and fears were (which included turning into my dad as a fear, which is really big of me being able to admit that specially before a lot of people who don't even know how I feel about my dad)).

So, even if I am happy I got to open up in front of my friends I just can't help feeling bad about the akwardness that I feel about hugging my friend and telling him how much he means to me, and I can't help feeling bad about not crying, even if I DO understand that there's absolutely noreason for me to feel this way, and I just hate it!!

merci! for readig, once again....