Freaky me..

Let me star by saying, that when I say freak, I speak of a specific type of freak.. I mean the comic book freak (actually graphic novels, but whatever), the anime freak, the super hero freak, the comic conventions freak.. That type of freak..

You know, it's bad enough to have some jerks telling you that is wrong to be the way you are (luckyly, I don't anymore, and I hardly had any through my life) but when your own family says that...

I mentioned before, and it's something that I think I'll never get COMPLETELY over (but I am pretty near that), that about 3 years ago my own father told me and my sibilings (particularly my brother and I, and specially my brother) that he didn't like the way we were.. Sure, he knew we were good peopl, and wehad nice principles etc etc, and he did vaalue that, but the fact of us being freaky (I wasn't actually all that freaky back then, (not that I am all that freaky now) but I was something like that) and not liking sports was stronger than that.. Sure he apologyzed the day after, and he "came to terms" whith the way we are, but I know he'd still rather us being sportive and all that.. In a way we both moved past that, and in a way we are both still stucked whith it.. It reflects on they way we both feel whenever he throws a coment like "hey wanna go to the stadium tomorrow?" (or things like that) when he knows we don't want to.. And we immediately redirect that comment to the night when he sayed all thos bad things..

Well.. as I said my father isn't all that big an issue now, and my other never was.. but our sisters kinda are.. I mean they both judge our friends and stuff (I gotta say though, that my older sister V, isn't all that bad.. I think she kinda accepts the way we are.. sure she judges our friends and dislikes freakism, but when it comes to us she's kinda cool about it.. for example she helped us make our costumes for a convention once, 'cause she studying fashion, and she knows a lot more than us about making clothes), but my little sister R, she just hates freakism, and believes everyone should be "normal" like she and her friends are.. and we are not the exception in her book..

We once got into an argument whith her because we heard her and her worst bunch of friends talking about other people at school, and they were extrevelly mean, judging a freaky girl, and two brazilian girls for having brazilian accent, complaining that apparently they were just trying to stand out (like if that made any sense, and like if it was a bed thing).. Another time we got into a fight because she and V, dislike our new friends (the X-men) and think they are too freaky..(some of them are just as freaky as we are, so I don't really understand them)..

Today (actually yesterday now)R, N and I were in the kitchen, making lunch to eat whith our parents who were comming back home from being the weekend away, when V's boyfriend came in accomplanyed by two of V and R's friends (mostly V's).. These ones are nice people, and I have nothing against them, so we small talked while they were here (they came to get something and go back to a hockey game where V was playing), they saw an easter egg which "shocked" them a tiny bit, cause it isn't easter yet, so my brother explained that he knows they only sell them two weeks a year, so he buys them any chance he gets during the two weeks, cause he doesn't eat them only at easter..
When these people left, R started arguing 'cause he embarrased her infront of her friends whith weird talk and stuff (she also complains that we use "weird" words  (which actually are cultured people-words) and says we should talk the "way teens should") so this led on to a  whole argument that ended up on how we were freaks and how that was wrong.. And how we should be normal, like she and her friends are! She says that is wrong for us to like comic books and super heroes 'cause it's not ok for people our age.. Sure it's ok for her and her friends to watch disney movies that were actually ment for ten year olds 'cause that's "normal".. (I don't mean the classic animated pictures, I like those, they were big part of my childhood, and I don't think it's wrong at all to watch those no matter your age.. I mean those stupid musicals they do now at days.. like hsm and stuff).. I asked her to take a moment and think how hurtfull were these things she was saying, you know, saying that the way we are is wrong, to us, her own brothers.. But of course, she stook to what she was saying..But why should I be surprised? We're talking about a girl that used to yell hurtfull stuff to us (this includes V) over the smallest disagreement.. I mean, sure, who hasn't lost it and yelled something mean to a sibiling? god knows I have, but she yelled these things even before loosing it, perfectly consious of what she was saying, and actually trying to hurt us (we knew she was trying to hurt us, so we didn't pay much attention to what she said, but it always hurt a little (at least to me) that she even tryed to hurt us).. Of course we did called her hollow ('cause she actually is, and I'm usually fine whith it, but the moment she started critisizing my way of beying, I just didn't care anymore).. She denyed being so (at least we admit our freakism) and asked me for examples, which I gave, but she didn't think they were valid 'cause of course EVERYONE does that, or at least everyone who's "normal" (which isn't actually true)..

Eventually (once the fight was over) dad and mom came back, and the fight topic eventually came up.. So my father tryed to analize the situation and see what the situation was.. So he was in the kitchen whith R and N, and he asked N "but couldn't it be that you like to play freak?".. sure, in an other situation this question would've been just fine, but right then, it meant that he had taken sides.. maybe out of contest it's not that obvious, but trust me, it meant that (a while later my mother said this exact same thing to me, so trust me, he took sides.. and he took HER side.. no surprizecoming from him).. So this led to a fight between him and N, where N insulted him (he was actually out of line).. And while they were fighting I was whith my mother and R, talking things through, and my mother did the right thing and actually said she was wrong (which my father didn't) and told her there was no reason for her to be ashamed by us, and that the words we used weren't weird, and (in a nice way) told her she actually was kinda hollow, and just as we shouldn't judge her, she shouldn't judge us.. Of course this did not change her mind but still, it's nuce to see somone sees things the way they are... After this, my sister spent the whole day in a bad mood, and took the defensive on EVERYTHING...

So basically, both my sister and my dad are jerks, and my father, really hasn't changed much in the inside (as I always thought, gotta give him a LITTLE credit for trying to hide it just not to hurt us, though..)
This gets me thinking.. and I remember those times when my brother says he actually hates R, and we all tell him that he's too harsh on her, and that he can't hate her, she's his sister, and he overreacts to her hallownes.. And I think of days like today, and think "how can I blame him?" ok, I'm just overreacting and being dramatic.. sure she's still my sister, and I DO still love her.. but at times like this I actually think she doesn't deserve it.. and I think how am I supoused to act from now on? she never apologyzed, and she still feels all those things, so I should be still mad at her.. but she won't say she's sorry, and she won't change her mind. at least not in the near future, so I can't stay mad to my sister forever...
I just hate how she acts like she hates discrimination and racism, but then she does this, I mean, this is discriminating too.. it actually is

C'est ma famille!!

Maniatic, Complainant And Unbearable

Maniatic, complainant and unbearable.. yep.. apperently that's what I am.. apparently that'sI've become to my family..

I'm not gonna say that they never complained about anything I did, but it wasn't until today that I realized HOW MUCH they complained..

It started a few hours ago when my younger sister my parents and I were returning from a weekend in Punta del Este.. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I was correcting my sister on something she said and she was all "You know what I ment" and I told her that I honestly didn't and then she started whith her typical "you complain about everything!/you criticize everything" (I got to addmit I do criticize a lot of things, but it's only cause the world if silled whith ilogical and stupid things (specialy on comercials and advertisement) and I just can't bare them and I have to talk about it) I know that I can critcize too much sometimes, but you'd think that after 18 years they would have gotten used to it (iyt's not like I criticize them or anyone else for that matter, I criticize things). Then I started pointing out that she complains about everything I say and my parents sort of dismised the hole discussion which got me even more angry than I already was (becasue I'm sick of her not standing anything I say and of their avoiding the discussions in stead of dealing whith them). So I just plugged my in-ear headphones, grabbed my book and isolated my self..

After a while my sister complains about my gum-chewing and so does my mother (not that they don't have the right it just didn't help whith my anger) and then my father asks me something to which I answered unwillingly, so he complained about my bad mood (I actually wasn't in a bad mood, but his comment got me into it) so I just started complaining (maybe yelling) about how he was saying nonesense because I wasn't in a bad mood, and even if I was I had all the right to be because of how annoying my sister was and of how they avoided the arguments instead of dealing whith them and I also said that I believed that by isolating myself I had handled things pretty well.. this only got me some more dismissal...

We met whith my brother for lunch (by this point I WAS in a bad mood) and my brother and I got into a discussion, but not in a bad way it was more of a debate and at some point where I was being a bit stuburn my father whispered to my brother "let it be" which bothered me cause I knew what he ment by that so I said "sue, don't talk to the crazy guy" and my brother told me (in a bad way) that I was interpeting what I wanted to to which I told him not to be stupid and that I knew what my father ment.

A while later my brother (talking about my aunt) made a coment like "fifeteen minutes whith her are more unbearable than 4 hours whith Remy.. no ofense" to which I answered in a totally serious tone"your an idiot.... no ofense" (in a way I'm happy that I couldn't think of a worse insult cause my parents would have grumpled me instead of laughing asd they did, but I ment to say something worse) and then I limited my self to stay quiet and look angry.. while I did this I got to thinking and I realized that they both had been complaining a lot about me being unbearble..

After a while my father pointe dout my bad mood again, and I said "of course that I'm in a bad mood! Because apparently I'm unbearable to all of you now!" while I was borderline crying to wht he answered "no, how can you say that" in a sympathetic tone "R (my younger sister) complains about averything I say, and N (my brother) comes here and makes that stupid joke, how do you want me not to say it?" my brother made coments about me overreacting (kind of treating me as if I was being overdramatic) to which I answered whith a lot of insults.. since we were at a restaurant my mother said that we should stop arguning and finish talking about this at home (which we didn't do.. OF COURSE) because we were almost yelling

-back at home-

while coming back inside after saying hello to the dogs I noticed my pool towel in the kitchen andt I asked my brother "why is my towel here?" while I layed my hand on it "and wet?" and then I atarted complaining "I've told you a million times not to use it, it's always the same whith you!" and he answered "I just grabb one out pof the shelf I don't look which one!" "how hard is it to check that you're not grabbing mine? you have no respect for other people's property! it'sn the same whith my computer!(which he turns off when he thinks that the ionternet is low)" then we got to arguing and yelling until he said "you are an unbearable maniatic and complainant!" so I threw my shoe at him and left.. ther was some more arguin that ende on him saying "fine, I'm sorry" just to get me to leave him alone..

I'm not gonna say I reacted in the best way in every situation, but I'm just angry because I realized that R and N heve been complaining a lot about me lately, and I don't think I deserve it, sure I have my flaws, but I believe that R should be able to live whith my criticizing since we have to live whith a lot of her flaws.. and N usually complains about my stubbournness which I think is a bit hypocrytical since he is stubbourn too..

Merci!!!!

P.S: -the bird bites- I have to say that my family is probably not as bad as I make it seem in these posts.. and we don't fight as much as it seems, it's just that I usually post only the bad stuff, since I need to let it out..

The Haircut

You know, I was planing opn writing about the Halloween weekend today, but while I was talking to my mother about the diferent scolarships offered by that the university I intend to go to (btw, I don't qualify for any of them) something HORRIBLE showed up, something so CREEPY that made me change today's subject, cause there's no way I could dedicate a post to anything else...

It was just an ordinary day, I had just returned from my driving lesson, and was talking to my mother and I was about to go study philosofy for the test I have tomorrow, when I hear the entrance door open, after a while I hear my brother asking a question about our conversation (which proved that he didn't understand what we were talking about at all) and while I was in the middle of my answer I saw IT, he had just came throw the door, and my sister and (who were both facing towards the door) immediatly grabed our heads in shock. My mother who had her back facing towards the door, looked at me, and when she saw my face she turned towards the door

-WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?!- she screamed while she covered her mouth whith her hands after noticing my brother's shaved head..

--it was something that no one saw coming, and in retrospective I guess maybe I shouldn't have been surprised (I mean it's not like I should have forseen it but maybe it should have seemed a bit more expected to me).. he had been bugging me for the las few months trying to convince mo of geting MY head shaved next year to do a certain cosplay in which I fit perfectly, but I'm not goba shave my head just for a cosplay-it's just hair, it'll grow back in a few months- he said trying to convince me.. and during one of those conversations, I believe he said he was capavle of doing it just to be a little impulsive (which neither of us is)--

-WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!- my mother asked as her voice got more and more desperate

-why are you geting like this?it's just hair, it'll grow back ina few months- he replied, not understanding by my mother's reaction

-I just don't get what could make you do something like this!- she said in a calmer voice, but starting to sob/cry

-I don't know, maybe cause I could! maybe to do something I never would! maybe to prove my self that I belong only to me.. I did this whithout asking or telling anyone, and it feels good, I know it looks awfull, but in y¡three months it'll be like it used to-

-you lost your mind.. I don't understand why people should do something "they never would"- my mom said looking at him whith a little bit of disgust

-mom, it's his hair, he has the right to do what he wants whith it- my little sister said (it's weird to see her "defending" him)

-she's right, is he stupid, grazy or a moron for doing this? maybe, but it's still his hair- I added

after 1 or 2 minutes he left, and my sister and I kept talking to my mother about it for a short time

-it's not that big a deal, there's no point on geting like this for something so stupid- I said and I kissed her on the forehead

-mom, when you wanted to get your tatoo they -he and my older sis- said you were crazy to get a tatoo at your age, but you did it anyway cause it's your body.. well, it's his hair and he can do what he wants no mather how crazy- my sis added

-yeah, do you believe him crazy? do you think he's stupid for doing this? well go ahead and tell him, but it's still HIS hair- I agreed

My sister didn't come home till a while later, and my mother and my sister told her about it while they drove her home (so I didn't get to see her face of shock when she saw him, cause she never did, and I wasn't there when they told her) but her reaction wasn't as fun as I though it would be (she's very "uptight" when it comes to looks, what she doesn't like she hates..), in fact it was kind of like a more normal version of my mother's reaction, she didn't cry, but she told me she was about to..

I mean, I don't get why he had to do such thing just to make a point (he does look horrible), there are many other ways to prove what he wanted to prove, I believe it was a little stupid of him.. Don't get me wrong, it's his hair, and it's not that big a deal (I mean if he had just cut it because he liked it, I would've just though that he has bad taste, but it turns out he has bad taste and he's an idiot :P) But, I do got to say, that there's a little merrit on what he did, on the fact that he steped outside his comfort zone and did it it's something that I could never do (and I'm not gonna do it just to prove I could, so I'm gonna die thinking I couldn't do it, and I'm just fine that way)

merci!!

P.S: -the bird bites- some of the "quotes" I made may not be totally accurate, it's just the best I could do to recreate the arguement (I don't remember everything ok?!)

Soff, Beth, when you see him act surprised, because he doesn't know I have a blog and I dpn't want him to (and there's no reasonable explanation of why you two know ;)

Third Week

Ok, so I said I was gonna write about the trip's "third week" (which is actually my first week back home), so I'm gonna, of course that since this was like a month ago, I'm gonna TRY and keep it short (it's more like a get-this-over-whith kind of deal)

Four Hours At Home

After crossing the gates that got me back home and after saying goodbye to my newest friends, my uncle got my sister and I back home and left. It was amazing how fast and how badly I started missing my trip friends, Just a few minutes after we parted, and I missed them too much for people I met two weeks ago (of course, that the fact that we practically lived together for those two weeks means a lot). After doing a little unpacking and giving my sister and her boyfriend their travel gifts, I wondered around the house and did nothing until I eventually fell asleep on the couch. Since I was never able of taking naps during the day I woke up less than an hour later, by that time I had to pack a bag, and get ready to leave to the airport again.

Bon Jovi

Yeap, I was back in the airport less than five hours later, but for a good reason, I was taking a plane to Buenos Aires to go see Bon Jovi in concert!!

After having to separet from my sister and her boyfriend the whole thing got kind of sad.. I was all alone, and the missing got bigger, maybe it was the fact that I was all alone, maybe it was the fact that I was in an airport (which by that time I had related to being whith them), or maybe it was both, but the fact is that I missed them in an abnormal way (in fact, Ididn't miss my family, which I hadn't seen in two weeks, nearly as much as I mised them, after not seeing them for 5 hours). I finally got to Bs. As. where my parents and my brother were waiting. I walked to my mother and I hugged her, and I got a little bit close to crying (it was a combination of how much I missed my group and how happy I was to see her) but I didn't.

After my arrival we inmediatlñy headed to the concert.. After a long walk we finally got there, and after a lot of waiting bon jovi finally showed up. It was a great concert, (possibly the best I've ever been to) it was about three hours of great music live, and I really enjoyed it. After the concert we went to the hotel, where my little sister was waiting, I was so tired that I didn't even give her a proper greeting after not seeing her for two weeks. The next day we had to take an early plane, so I didn't get to sleep anywhere near enough, we took the plane, we got home and I started geting ready to geting back to my normal life...

Back Home Again/Insomia

There where a lot of diferent reasons, but in my first week back home I didn't get to sleep all I needed to, which basically means that I was tired all week, it wasn't really insomia, becasue I was more than able to sleep, it's just that things came up!

The first day for example, I just hanged out at home, and before I knew it it was about 1:30 a.m (and I was already tired from the plane bcka home from U.S and not being able to sleep in Bs.As.). Anyway, this was the day that I got the best sleep, but just because I skipped first period (it was actually cause I had a test and I obviouslly hadn't studied but it was good for my sleep). I don't remember what else kept me up the other days, I beleive that one day I stayed up chating whith Lore (from the trip), and there where other reasons.. Anyway, the point is that I was really tired all week and I was about to fall asleep in every single one of my classes.

Weekwnd At Juan Lacaze

During the trip, Caro had invited me and Lore to her birthday, the first friday after the trip. I was more than happy to go, specially when I got back home and I missed them so much. But I made no promises, since she lives at Juan Lacaze which is 2 hours away from where I live (Andre was invited too, but since she lives in Juan Lacaze too, it was kind of obvious that she would)

After a few chats whith Lore both decided to go. We arranged everything, and she took a one hour bus from Sauce to Montevideo, and we took a 2 hour bust together to Juan Lacaze. It was a long but fun trip, where a lot of gossip came up of things that in the U.S. We got to Caro's and she showed us to our sooms, and about half an hour later, peoplo (caro's friends) started apearing. It was kind of fun, we got to meet new interesting people and we got to see Andre again. After some people left (Andre included) we got to play truth ot dare, which was actually just Truth since the option dare wasn't available, the whole game was kind of humiliating for me (since it showed how "unexperienced" I am) and I guess it was too for Lore (since it showed how "experienced" she was) but I don't think she cared (in fact she kept sharing even once the game was over). We were suposed to leave the next day at four ( we actually were suppoused to leave at 11 but Caroo wanted us to stay for lunch and meet her grandparents uncles etc), but she ended up convincing us to stay till sunday, and invited us to a streetlight-fest on saturday (sounds weird? yeap I know.. well, here it's how it works, if you dress whith red clothes it means "I have a bf/gf, STOP", yellow "it's complicated, PROCEED WHITH CAUTION" and green means "I'm single GO AHEAD!"). So we stayed, and during the day, we went to Caro and Andre's School's Spring Party, which was an event, where the diferent classes compited on dancing, karaoke, desining a comercial for a bus company etc. it was kind of fun, and Lore and I got to try fryed pasta (yeah, FRIED) which Andre talked about all the time in U.S and Lore and I found it very weird, and an insult to pasta, it actually wasn't that bad, but still I think it's something that just shouldn't be done (pasta wasn't meant to be fryed). Lore talked to me about geting me drunk (it would be my first time), to which I answered "maybe", she insisted on it the whole day, and by the end I knew I was up for it (not that I told her that).

So the time came to go to the party, and so we did.. We got there, and Andrea was already theree, and half way to drunkness (actually more than halfway) and Lore started drinking right away.. So by the time I decided to start, Lore was already drunk, so I only got to drink one drink before she decided to seat down, and I had to seat down whith her, cause she was bearly concious, and I couldn't leave her alone.. So after about an hour of siting (whith her head against my shoulder) my arm started feeling warm.. And that was the begining of my first time taking care of a drunk person.. I did try to find caro and her boyfriend, since I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't find them (they were probably making out somewhere) and I had to stay whith her whithout being able to go clean myself up, until they appeared..

By the time we got to Caro's my shirt jeans and shoes where vomited, and Lore was wearing my sweater which she vomited on before entering the house..

We left the next day at four, we got to the bus terminal, I walked her to a bus stop that got her back to Sauce and took a cab back home, of course that the hole way we laughed while I told her all the things she didn't remember about the night before, untilshe fell asleep and I just stuck to my iPod and the book I had..

So in conclussion, it was agreat trip, and a great new experience and a totally new way to spend my weekend, and I got to meet some new people, which I really liked (Caro's bf (whith whom we spent the whole weekend) was actually very nice for example), and I really enjoyed it..

Merci(I'm sorry, I didn't manage to make it short at all)

Sorry seems to be the hardest word -Elton John-

It's hard to believe that there's such a thing as being too proud... if you think about it, it's weird that being proud can be a bad thing, what could be wrong about feeling good about yourself or what you do?

The truth is that I am too proud, but not because Ilike myself or what I do too mcuh.. the truth is that being too proud is taking pride to a whole other level, when you just can't admit (to yourself or to others) that you were mistaken, that you did something wrong or that you made a mistake..

This sort of things happen to me often, this is why, one of my biggest fears is to be wrong, to make a mistake, even if it those who hear me would have made the same mistake...

It also happens that I just can addmit that I was wrong, or that I acted out of place or unfairly (it's not always that this happens, but it does happen often) this is why sometimes it's very hard for me to apologyze

This whole thing came to my mind minutes ago, (when I was about to write a post god knows about what just because I felt that it had been too long since my last post) what happened was that my sister told me that I left a door unlocked and the dogs got in and chew a few stuffs, first of all I couldn't admit that it was infact me who left the door unlocked, and then when she got mad at me for answering rudely I didn not only not apologyze, but I also kept arguing with her knowing she was rigth...

It's not that I hate being proud, in a way I like it, but I just hate when it comes to the point that I can't apologyze.. At least I'm not to prud to admit that I'm to proud..

once again, merci!

Don't look back in anger -oasis-

Bonjour mes amis!! I realise that the post is waaaay too long, and that's why I devided it in as many moments as I could, so you don't have to read it all at once...

In all my life I've never been to a surprise party, and this weekend I got to participate in two fo them.. And it's not fair that I don't get to write about something so simple, happy and unimportant as that, because I'm mad, and I "need" to write about that!! (why can't I have just one silly shallow post?). The one I had yestarday was for a very close friend, whose 18th birthday was a month ago but since she didn't celebrate we decided to throw her a party/meeting (and 18th birthday it's very important)

1st moment:

Unfotunatly my sister happens to be her friend too, ever since they threw a party for the jonasbrothers-fans in my school (and of course since they both like that stupid band-wannabe thay became friends there) I don't really mind that they're friends I just don't like going to partys with her because she's a pain in the ass. At first she didn't even wanted to go just because she didn't wanna be with me. And I pointed out that that was really unfair to our friend (although I would have been happier if she stayed home). In the end my mother convinced/forced her to go so she did.

In the party she kept bothering me by giving me the camera and asking me to take pictures, and then taking it away and then bringing it back, and while I had it she kept constantly asking if i was taking pictures (I took a few but I wasn't about to spend the whole party as a photografer) And by the end of the party when only a few people was left she started bothering me with wanting to leave, and if it had been up to me i would have stayed a little longer, but she talked to my mother who started texting ME about how WE(?) weren't leting her sleep and that we should try to find an hour to leave that was good for both of us (1st of all it's not like if I knew at what hour I would want to leave and 2nd there is NO negotiating when it comes to my sister, and she knows that). So i just let her win, and I started calling cabs, but I wasn't able to get any, so I told her to try herself, Somehow she got one rigth away by calling the same companies I called, so she came to me and said "was that so hard to do?" I just held all the multiple things I wanted to yell at her. It was HER the one who wanted to leave and I tryed getting one for a long time, and she didn't even thank me..

2nd moment

When we got home I just had a glass of water and headed straigth to my room without saying a word to her. (Ididn't mention before that my little cussin was sleeping over at our house and had to sleep with my brother where there is no other bed or matress than his).So when I get to my room my matress was gone and my room was a mess. My brother happened to be awake and he told me that they sent me a text message (that I didn't recieve) telling me about that, TELLING ME, not asking for my permision but telling me, and he didn't ever made sure that I got the massage (I mean there must have been a reason for me not to reply!). So I asked him wht was I supoused to do, and it turns out that the idea was for me to sleep in my sister's room with her (yeah right!). Unfortunatly my cousin was sleeping so I didn't get the chance to get into the whole thing. "I decided" (I didn't actually have much other choice) to sleep in my bunker bed , wich is not bad, but I have the right to sleep in my bed when I want to. So I tried to fall asleep and decided to talk about it in the morning.

3rd moment

I woke up and had my breakfst without talking to anybody. When my brother woke up we started arguing about how he has no right to touch my stuff without my permission and about how he could have sent my coussin to my sister's bunker bed and have her sleep there, or how he could have taken the matress from the bunker bed, and how he should have asked for my permission before geting into my room, making a mess in there and stealing my matress! And I pointed out that it was a total lack of respect for me and my room! But aperently he had the rigth to do whatever he wanted because he had to take care of my cousin in my dog and my sister's dog (the dogs sleep inside with us so he had to sleep with them), I don't get what he's complaining about! I'm the one who always takes care of her, even if my brother and sisters are home too. And not only does he never take care of her but he complains because he has to take care of her when noone else is in the house! And then our fathers join the discussion and the topic of me and my sister last night comes up, and I start yelling about how they have no respect for my stuff! How my brother does whatever he wants in my room, hoe my sister doesn't understend that this are MY friends and I should be able to leave the party whenever I want and I she should deal with it... And my father starts telling everybody that there's no point on talking to me at the moment because I was being unreasonable.. I mean yes I was yelling but I was being totally reasonable!

4th moment

So a little while later I just go away and my father starts following me arguing with me and I eventually start yelling again and he wants me to shut up, I have the rigth to be mad!! and I have the rigth to let it out!! in fact I SHOULD let it out! But all he cares about is the fact that my sister (not the one from the party) was in the next room with her boyfriend, and it was embarassing... But I kept yelling so my father got out of controll and started chasing me arround the kitchen and my sister came in to complain about the noise. Finally my father caugth up to me and I saw that he was totally out of control trying to restrain himself not to hit me and my sister comes to me and holds me trying to defend me until he finally lets go of me. And I start crying and tell him that it's not fair that he doesn't let me talk and be mad... So I leave once again, this time to my room, but once again he follows, and he tryes to talk to me and I keep telling him to leave and my mother tells him the same thing and this went on for about 10-15 minutes untill he finally left.. 
And after a while of weeping in my room I decided to go to the backyard with the dogs. And after a while of peace he comes again and tries to talk to me but I keep insisting that I do not want to talk to him but he keeps trying and for some reason I get closer to the door but I do not leave, but Ikeep telling him not ton bother me and I raise my voice, so he tells me not to yell because it's an embaresment in front of the neighboors and I tell him that that should be the least important thing to him rigth now, but he tells me that to him it's the most important, so I decided not to listen to his shit anymore and leave..

Conclussion

It just makes me so mad!! is it too much to ask for a little respect for my room? is it too much to ask to go to my friend's birthay without anyone bothering me? Don't I have the rigth to be angry? And don't I deserve to let that anger out?

How do I end up being the bad guy here? I don't understand why my mother complained to me when it was my sister who woke her. I don't get why doesn't my brother agree that it was wrong for him to mess up my room without even asking, and I don't get why my mother defends him! And I don't undestand why my father won't let me be angry!and why does he care more about what the neighboors think (specially since they are just a bunch of idiots) than the fact that I'm mad and that I have the rigth to be, and that it's not good to keep the anger inside of me! So in the end I'm mad at my whole family (except my biger sister who is always the first to step up whenever my father looses it) and they probably think I'm the one who should apologize... (Well, maybe I should apologize for messing up my brother's room just out of anger, but that's it! but since he didn't apologize for what he did I won't apologize either!specially since my mother had me fix that...)

Merci for reading!! No, really if you took time out of your life to read this hole thing, then I'm really thankfull!

PS: -the bird bites-(yes I'm gonna write that in every PS) I didn't choose the title of this post becasue it related to the post, but because in moment 4 when I was in my room and on the backyar this song just kept playing in my head(I don't know why). But I guess it kind of relates just a bit to the post (specially in the anger part)