Shyguy Vs College

Okey, 4 days ago I wrote a post talking about how I had just finished my very last year of high school, and (among other stuff) I talked about how I was going to have to leave the place that I had been in for almost all my life, and how I now I would have to face something new whith comepletly new people..

While I was answering the comments I got the answer started to get pretty long (and maybe a little bit off topic) and I decided to make a post about it..

Well, as I said before last friday was my last day of school, and as I said it had been the only place I have ever gone to (studywise) and most of the people I know I met them there (in fact until this year I had almost no friend that was from outside my school).. So as you can realize I haven't really "practiced" meeting new people, ever.. Almost everybody I ever metI met them either befor turning 10 or if I met them after that they were the "new ones" so I was still in a comfortable place while I got to meet them... Add to that the fact that I'm very shy, and you'll realize that I'm socially akward (specially when it comes to new people)

I can only remember 3 recent situations in which I was introduced to a whole group of new people.. the 1st was when my X-men cosplay team met whith another x-men cosplay team, and I did fine, but then I knew half the people in the group so conversation came easier. The 2nd was when I went on the "Dream Trip to U.S.A" and again I did fine (maybe because we were all strangers to each other so we were on the same position), but the first time I was completely alone whith the guys and they started whith all the stupid "macho" talk things got very uncomfortable and when they realized how quiet I was they turned their atention to me, trying to get me to participate more actively in their "conversation" and once I didn't (I just don't feel comfortable whith it) I immediatly became an outsider, of course this didn't interfeer whith me getting along perfectly whith the girls.. Then there's the third and least important time, which was when I got to meet the friends of one of the girls that went on the trip whith me, and it was a bit akward (specially being the center of atenction since I was the "new one" there) but I did manage to talk to them (I didn't talk a lot, but I did talk) but then again I had 3 of the people who went on the trip there whith me to make the situation a bit more comfortable..

So I can manage to socialize with new people when I'm whith people I know, and SOMETIMES when we are all strangers to each other.. But what guarantees that this whil be one of those times, cause sure, we are all (or most of us) gona be strangers to each other, but as I said, SOMETIMES I can talk and get a bit out of my shyness, and even those times, it's hard for me to socialize whith the typical guy (I know I'm a guy, but girls are easier friends to me, well girls and some guys, what people call "weirdos", for example I had no problem whith the X-men guys).. Sure, I have no problem whith just geting along whith the girls, but I don't really want to spend my whole college life being friends only whith the girls.. And yes, my brother and his friends (whith whom I get along great, -they're part of the X-men group-) go to the same university I'm going to, so I do have a back-up plan in case things don't go as planed, but just as I don't want to only socialize with the girls, I don't want to depend on my brother and his friends.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'll probably have little problem socializing whith my future classmates, and I'll probably meet at least one "weird" guy whith whom I wont have to worrry about "macho"-talk but I can't help having those thoughts, because being shy as I am there's a big chance that I have trouble socializing... (don't go thinking that this is the only thing in my mind and that I can't stop thinking about it, in fact it's not something I give THAT much though to.. it's just a worry I have, it's not too important..)

As alway.. Merci!

The End Of An "Era"

Last friday was my very last day of high school.. It was my last-last day of school, the same school I've been going for seventeen

years, ever since I was one year and a half old.. It actually was my second home, almost every friend I've ever had (untill this year) I met them there, the longest friendships started there, I have two friends that have been so for 17 years, which is almost all my life..I have lots of memories in there, and the thought of having to leave that place of having to start a whole new chapter of my life whith a bunch of new people is weird (and maybe even a bit frightening)

after 17 years, being there became familiar and comfortable.. now I have to head of to the new and unknown..We had a great last day, we just hanged out in the clasroom whith the teachers, and we had out uniform shirts signed, and then at lunch we had a bit of a "celebration", whith the typical last day pranks.. For example some of the other guys grabbed some toilet paper and.. well.. let's just say they re-decorated the yard.. It was almost perfect except for 2 things:1: the fact that only half the generation ended the classes that day, and the other half ends in a few weeks (It sounds weird, but it has to do whith how classes are divided)

2: the fact that me and my class had a test a

t the very last period of the very last day, which isn't the best..

After school we had planed a pool-party at my house (since it's extremely close to school) and of course I invited the guys who didn't finish on friday as well.. but in the end very few people

came(we were 7) and since it wasn't

THAT hot by the time we got to my house we didn't get into the pool (that's ok I'm thinking of throwing anotherone when the other half of the generation finishes) after that 3 of us went to another friend's house and just hanged out there till 1 o'clock or so..

It wasn't the last day I had expected,at school it was a little better than I imagined (too bad it wasn't everyone's last day) and at homw it was much worse, don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun, but it was a bit lame for a last-last school day.. It would have been much better if we had all been together (at least the ones who finished classes that day)

Merci